Parenting Tips from the Office of Women's Health

Abby endorses this free Mom's Advice Kit!

Dear Abby,
As children come to their mothers to mend their scraped knees and broken hearts, readers in turn come to you for advice that can mend fractured relationships and save lives.
Knowing how much mothers everywhere value your wisdom, the Food and Drug Administration's Office of Women's Health and the Federal Citizen Information Center have created the "Healthy Moms Advice Kit" for your readers. It's filled with practical tips on topics such as hay fever, recognizing and conquering depression, keeping food safe, discovering the real differences between name band and generic drugs—and every mom's dream—learning the secrets of getting a good night's sleep.
Abby, thanks for letting your readers know about the free Healthy Moms Advice Kit, and for being someone we always know we can trust to steer us to the answers we need.
MARSHA HENDERSON, FDA ASSISTANT COMMISSIONER FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH (ACTING)
DEAR MARSHA: I'm pleased to help you educate readers on these important topics. Every year when I review the advance copies of your kits I learn something new—which is why I know they will be helpful to others.
Folks, this year's free smorgasbord of information contains helpful advice on such topics as how to avoid getting sick from restaurant take-out foods, medications and products to avoid during pregnancy, and an enlightening fact sheet on HPV (human papillomavirus), a sexually transmitted disease that, left untreated, can lead to cervical cancer.
Because all the information in these kits has been compiled by the government at taxpayer expense, it's offered at no cost to you. However, quantities are limited so don't wait. Order now. To receive the kits in printed form, send your name and address to Healthy Moms Advice Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009, go online to Publications.USA.gov or call (888) 8-PUEBLO (that's 888-878-3256) weekdays 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern time. You can also read the publications online in PDF format, download them to your computer and print them.
FREE PUBLICATIONS IN THE "Healthy Moms Advice Kit" (PDF format)
Allergies (116 Kb)
Depression (116 Kb)
Generic Drugs (115 Kb)
HPV (human papillomavirus) (291 Kb)
Listeria (126 Kb)
Medicine and Pregnancy (116 Kb)
Osteoporosis (124 Kb)
Restaurant and Take-Out Safety (120 Kb)
Sleep Disorders (123 Kb)
FDA.gov / Pregnancy Registries Postcard (215 Kb)

Parenting Resolutions

Are you thinking you would like to set New Year goals to be a better parent?  Pediatrician Vincent Iannelli gives some good reasons and suggestions at about.com focusing on habit changes, better discipline and understanding your children.  Being a good role model is one of the most important aspects of parenting and one you can improve by setting goals for yourself that will have a positive impact on your children.

Parental Alienation Awareness Day

With awareness comes education and understanding, and the power to stop the abuse of innocent children caught in the crossfire of people they love. Click here: PAAO

How to choose your baby's doctor

One of the big decisions you face when pregnant for the first time is the choice of a pediatrician. Here are a few things to consider:

• These days it is usually most important to find out which doctors accept your insurance.

• It is wise to check to see that the doctor is a board certified pediatrician or family practice doctor. You can check with the state professional licensing board to be sure he/she is a real, licensed doctor and if there are concerns that way.
  

• What hospital is the doctor affiliated with? On the Wasatch Front almost all pediatricians practice at Primary Children's Hospital and if you deliver at a hospital other than where your doctor has privileges, he/she will have a colleague see your baby and then transfer the record to his/her office for follow up care, well-child visits, etc. so you don't necessarily need one with privileges at your delivery hospital.
  

• You want a doctor who is nice, well-liked, and easy to talk with. Hopefully you won't feel too rushed either. Most doctors will schedule a "meet and greet" appointment at no charge so you can get acquainted and ask questions. Often it's a personality and communication style issue. What works for one person does not for the next. You need a good "fit."

• Choose a doctor who is supportive of breastfeeding - giving more than just "lip service." Some doctors have lactation specialists in their office. You should interview the doctor to see if he/she does anything to assure success in this area whenever possible. A doctor who just says, "oh, well, give a bottle" and considers this equal is not a good choice.

• You might check to see how difficult it is to get an appointment at his/her office. Do you like the front-desk staff? That's who you'll be talking to - a lot!

• Ask about billing practices, fees, balances carried, interest rates, etc.

• Do they have well-baby office hours or immunization hours that are separate or do they combine?

• Is the office close and convenient to your house? With a sick child you don't want to have to travel far to see the doctor. Since the delivery is a one-time event, choosing for the future needs is more important than having the doctor at that hospital, should you have to choose. If you have a history of or risk factors for preterm birth, it would be nice to have them there in person.
  

• Ask how they handle calls and emergencies after hours. Keep in mind, most pediatricians rotate "on call" times because babies get sick around the clock and your doctor won't be available 24/7. You will likely see one of his or her colleagues at times so you want a group (or relief practice) that you like; not just one doctor.

• If you have particular issues you feel strongly about, make sure your doctor is on the same page. Do you want a delayed immunization schedule? Find a doctor who supports this. Do you oppose circumcision or want it for your son? Find a doctor who either agrees or has a colleague who handles them if he/she is opposed but you are in favor. (This is a controversial issue and more recently the pendulum seems to be swinging in favor of the circumcision due to infection concerns, but insurance companies and Medicaid still consider it cosmetic and may not pay for it, so find out the doctor's fees). Do you prefer a conservative approach and avoid unnecessary antibiotics or will you be offended if your doctor does not give meds at every sniffle? You may be in conflict on this issue. Is your doctor well-versed in emerging disorders such as autism? Does he/she keep current on new information as it breaks by actively participating in community and professional organizations or do "old school" techniques prevail?
  

Don't fall for stereotypes. Doctors, like other professionals, have good and bad practitioners apart from race, nation of origin, religion, gender, age, etc. The "older" doctor may not be "old school" and may have wonderful experience and common sense mixed with an up-to-the-minute knowledge base.

Ask your friends for suggestions if you're stumped. Your OB or CNM may also have good ideas and they know your personality. You can also call the newborn nursery at your hospital and ask for some recommendations. Those nurses who have been there a while know who is skilled, dependable, friendly, good with kids, good with parents, helpful and supportive of breastfeeding, etc.

Feel free to comment and give your own ideas - what worked for you or how you made your decision.

Book Report - Fathers and Daughters

Fathers and Daughters: Eye Opening Facts

By Linda Nielsen, Ed.D.
Author of Embracing Your Father: Building the Relationship You Want with Your Dad

As the parent of a daughter or as someone whose spouse has a daughter, we strengthen father-daughter relationships in our families by being able to separate “fact from fiction”. Despite what we see in many movies, TV shows, advertisements, and children’s books, recent national statistics and recent research from leading experts in psychology and sociology, show several facts to consider:

• Fathers generally have as much or more impact as mothers do in the following areas of their daughters’ lives: (1) achieving academic and career success—especially in math and science (2) creating a loving, trusting relationship with a man (3) dealing well with people in authority—especially men (4) Being self-confident and self-reliant (5) Being willing to try new things and to accept challenges (6) Maintaining good mental health (no clinical depression, eating disorders, or chronic anxiety) (7) Expressing anger comfortably and appropriately—especially with men
  
  
• Mothers and daughters generally know each other better and spend more time together throughout their lives than fathers and daughters.
  
  
• Too many daughters regret not having gotten to know their father very well while he was still alive.
  
  
• Our society emphasizes the importance of mother-daughter relationships more than father-daughter relationships.
  
  
• Most children’s books, TV programs, and movies send the message that fathers and daughters are not supposed to know each other as well or spend as much time together as mothers and daughters.
  
  
• Daughters who are raised by single fathers are just as well adjusted and as happy as daughters raised by single mothers.
  
  
• Fathers and daughters are usually closer when the mother works full time outside the home while the children are growing up.
  
• The more hours a mother works and the higher her income, the more time the father spends with their children.
  
  
• Most fathers want to spend more time with their children, but can’t because of their jobs. Realities: (1) Eighty percent of the fathers in our country earn most of the money for their families. (2) Counting the time spent commuting, working, doing house and yard work, and being with the kids, the average father has 5 hours less free time each week than the average employed mother. (3)On average, employed fathers work 10 more hours a week than employed mothers.
  
  
• Many fathers believe that their wives and daughters’ feelings for them are partly—or sometimes largely—based on money.
  
  
• A father usually has a closer relationship with his kids when the mother lets everyone in the family know how much she appreciates his ways of parenting—especially if his way of relating to the kids isn’t exactly like hers.
  
  
• A daughter has a better relationship with her father when her mother does not rely on her for advice or comfort on adult issues—especially issues involving the parents’ relationship with each other.
  
  
• When parents are unhappily married, most children side with their mother against their father.
  
  
• Sadly, there are mothers who feel uncomfortable or jealous with the idea that their daughter might share as much time or as much personal information with her father as she does with her mother.

• Source: parentingbookmark.com
  

Great Idea!

On my recent trip to Japan I noticed a super invention inside the ladies' restroom stall of all places. If you're a mom and ever had to take a baby into the restroom with you, only to try and figure out what to do with her while you do what you came to do, you will appreciate this idea. Obviously it wouldn't work for newborns but for lots of children the little waiting seat would serve the purpose well. So, not to gross you out taking you inside the stall, but I thought you would appreciate seeing this one. An entrepreneur should be able to do well with this.